First of all, let me get this out of my system: I don’t give a toss about the iPhone. It is yet another lump of plastic and electronics and stuff that lets you make calls. The iPhone is just another in a long procession of mobile phones, each smaller, lighter, having more features… than the last. I don’t think I’ll be buying it.

The first main purpose of this post is to talk about my phone, the Motorola V635. Having this phone probably makes me extremely uncool – it is at least three weeks old (in fact of course it is much older) and it doesn’t even like have an Apple badge. I can’t say I’m overly happy with it, and it’s not because other phones have more features, or that it’s old, or anything like that. It’s just that it’s a bit too fat for my pocket, and it has a load of features that I don’t use. I bought it for the mp3 player feature, but since I got my iPod I don’t even use that any more. In fact, the only features I do use are making phone calls and sending text messages. Everything else is just pointless. Perhaps I should ‘downsize’.

The second main purpose of this post is to discuss my distaste of Orange. I’m not particularly unhappy about its service, more its strategies. I cannot describe in words how I detest the current wave of unutterably crap television advertisements I am being subject to, with a bloke with a corny Shrek-like Scottish accent offering condescending advice on what we should be buying from them. I don’t want a bloody canary or dolphin or whatever the hell you’re trying to sell me!

Their endless stream of poor adverts over the last few years are enough to make me want to leave.