I have a problem. It’s me.
I am a paradox. In my own mind I am a self-absorbed, self-loathing idiot capable of sheer brilliance and astounding stupidity. I am a font of knowledge, ideas and wisdom; as well as misinformation, delusion and complete bollocks.
I get on with most people but I am yet reticent to meet new people. I once regarded myself as supremely confident with a bounty of self-belief; but I am defeated by this ridiculous, irrational fear that cripples my attempts to lead a rather ordinary life.
I was once regarded as mysterious and guarded, but, seeing as you are reading this, you can see that I express myself more.
It feels like I am two people. There is the confident-me: thoughtful and considerate yet willing and able. Then there is the Internet-me: bold and exuberant but misguided and a bloody idiot.
Of course, it’s not the Internet’s fault. I can only call it an insecure manifestation of me that is slowly becoming me.
And all this because I have to make some phone calls tomorrow.