Own Worst Critic

By |May 8th, 2011|Essays|0 Comments

A lot of people claim to be their own worst critic, but what does it actually mean? I happen to think I am my own best critic: someone that tells me I’m getting by but capable of so much better.

My self-criticism happens in-house. I’m not gushing with self-loathing as that often happens within. I allow it to manifest itself sometimes, largely in order to quantify and qualify those thoughts with my peers and those interested in how I’m doing. I largely keep it under wraps though. I think that’s good; people don’t really like being heaped with the responsibility of meddling with someone’s enthusiasm, drive and confidence.

This brings me to David Mitchell’s article curiously entitled I couldn’t watch footage of Bin Laden’s death. And as for The Apprentice… in The Observer. I’m not entirely certain what the article is about, but it mentions the over-inflated egos of the contestants and the waffle they produce when they are presented with an audience. This is what happens when you give the responsibility of meddling with someone’s enthusiasm, drive and confidence to the wrong people.

Who applies to go on The Apprentice? Are they the most enthusiastic, driven and confident people in business in this country? Nope. They are relatively unsuccessful and are looking for a shortcut. TV exposure with immodest and uncomposed gushing of self-praise surely negates lack of success elsewhere…

If I had been selected as a contestant on The Apprentice, I would be asking the question, “why?” Producers survive by making “good television”, which now means throwing together seemingly obnoxious, argumentative and auto-elating freaks of human nature to complete frivolous tasks. I certainly wouldn’t necessarily believe that some television executive saw a spark untapped business acumen and exciting new potential within me; nor would I feel that anyone connected with the show had the confidence that I was fully composed and attached.

So where am I aiming for as my place in society? I’m going for the middle ground: someone that won’t get featured on television, but also someone that doesn’t take the rest of the world down with them.